Saturday, October 24, 2009

I'm Going There

So, for my first blog I'd like to talk about something many women struggle with: the decision to breastfeed. The information available to educate yourself on is immense. There are classes, books upon books, articles, websites, family members, friends, etc. Everyone has a different story, experience and advice to give you even if you do not want to hear it.

People will tell you horror stories or even try and guilt you into doing it. In the end you have to be strong and know that the decision you make is the right one for you and baby. Even if it is formula. Others have no right to judge your decision - AT ALL. In fact, if I had to do it all over again I would have never told anyone about my breastfeeding decisions. (keep that in mind, future mommy's). It's a conversation subject as dangerous as abortion or politics and I am NOT being a drama queen.

This is my experience: I really struggle with this decision. Every day. In my mind I KNEW it was the right thing to do but I wasn't all excited about having my baby suckling from me day and night. It makes me feel like I am Moo-Moo Milk'm Cow. I'm being honest when I say this and I mean not to offend anyone, but, it just felt wrong and icky to me. It's something I've had to work through every feeding. The hospital stay was horrible. It seemed like every person who walked through that door demanded to see my tits and see my boy latch on to them. It didn't help that my baby was born C-section, had a hard time latching on and that my milk didn't come in until day 6.

I've made it three weeks now and each feeding is different. Sometimes I don't mind and other times I feel sick over it. There are days I'm ready to throw in the towel and other days when I think "Hey, this isn't so bad at all". I also have pressure from my husband to keep it up for at least 6 months. I'm not sure that's realistic for me. This Tuesday when it's a month I will celebrate a small victory and perhaps set another goal of 2 more weeks and see how it goes. One of the main incentives (besides the health factor and $$ factor)is that I'll be flying with Henry in December and I am a freak show right now about germs and H1N1. I know that me breastfeeding until at least then will give him a boost.

Ladies and Gentleman, that's where I stand.


Miche said...

Don't worry; whatever you decide will be perfect for you and him. I wasn't breastfed and I think I've turned out pretty awesome :) Thanks for sharing-I had not realized you were struggling so much with the decision! Good to know, and also just know that no matter what, Henry will be fine and so will you :) Youre an awesome mommy!

alicia said...

one nice thing about breastfeeding and traveling is that you'll always have his food...ahem...on tap! no lugging bottles or formula, or wondering how you'll warm it up :P

whatever you choose to do, though, be proud that you tried it. henry will be awesome and healthy no matter what!

msmrow said...

I'm so sorry you feel judgment or pressure about this. Since I've never done it or had to make such decision, I can't say that I can relate... I hope my curiosity hasn't come across as negative in any way.

emotional diva said...

good for you Andrea. You are a plethora of ideas and knowing what works best for you. both of my reasons for stopping breastfeeding were out of my control. it took me a long time to get over that. breastfeed or not to breastfeed seems to come with this stigma that if you do you are a superb mother and if you don't, there must be something insanely wrong with you. i hated that feeling of inadequacy and "lucked" out with having super darn good reasons of having to stop.
i am definitely one of those mamas who balked at breastfeeding after teeth anyway so environmental circumstances saved me from having to make that decision. ha!

i love this blog, btw. =)