Tuesday Night Office Marathons Rule

I have a millions things to blog about, none of them relevant about my life right now, but just my life. However, I have found I have too many things to do during the day. Hellooooo teething baby with excessive drool.

Visit with Kyle was awesome. He left at 6:50am this. Remind me to have words with my stepfather for booking such an early flight (jk!)

We have a Wii....my life has not changed at all. I thought I was going to be impressed. I fucking hate video games. Always.

Taking better care of myself. I actually ate and drank water today. My new meds are kicking my ass. Dr. on Thursday. Down 12 pounds this month which is awesome, but it's not from healthy lifestyle.

I have a cute video to share of Henry laughing and me being a bossy-butt and I'll close with that today because it's perfect. Teekle-Teekle!

Kyler-Whyler

It's incredibly humbling that I'm getting to spend time with my brother, basically, getting to know him. That's right. I'm 28, he's 24 and we are just now getting acquainted. You see, we had issues while we were growing up and we did not like each other at all. I remember telling him several times that I wish I were an only child, that I hated him, why couldn't he just be "good" like me, or at least put on a good show. I have very few memories of Kyle growing up that were good. I was a monster, a monster child.

*please note, there is lots, lots more to the above paragraph but it's personal family stuff - unbloggable. *

But now I have this chance to see and enjoy this beautiful person he is. Like someone switched a light on in my head and it's enlightening. The fact that he even wants to talk to me is amazing to me after all the things and hurtful words I berated him with.

We share a lot of the same traits, we both have funny quirks and an off-beat sense of humor.

I'm so proud of him, to call him my brother. MY BROTHER. My brother who dropped out of High School, couch hopped for years, been homeless, lived at the 'Y' worked on a carnival traveling all over the place who just completed Job Corps and earned his GED and a trade in Electrical. He's an inspiration.

I've gotten my chance to make amends and apologize. He forgives me, said he was never carrying any of it around and it was just the way it was. I am so fortunate. I was carrying around that heavy guilt....but you know what? We are both different people now. We're no longer children. We can talk. We know how things were, we'll always share our childhood.

So here's to family, which I never really gave much thought to until I had my baby. How important the relationships are that we build when we are young. How important it is to hold on to the past - the good parts of the past.

I love you, Bub.

Tiny Feet

I have to admit I miss the absence on the nights that he is away, slaving away, writing some computer language or training some other nerdy-smart pants on how to do like the most impossible math problem in computer language ever, I am sure. I miss his body next to mine in bed even though his body temperature runs at least 10 more than mine and is like a hot water heater, even went not needed.

I miss him. I admire him. I love him.

But the the other side of the cool sheet is the interrupted sleep with no snores, which I also love. No sheet or blanket wars, no grumbling from me in the morning when his 5am alarm goes off and he keeps snoozing it. But then...no back scratches and snuggles. Boo.

I love him so, my strange giant. My rock. My boy friend who's been around since my teens and HA, we are married.

He's participated in given me the best gift from God of all, my Son, Henry. Every day it's more a joy to take care of him and he's so loved and social. I hope he keeps the social aspect. I was such a timid little girl to most (I know, imagine that!). But he is starting to recognize words and he thinks that every bottle is his. His tiny little hand grasped out to a beer I was drinking making me feel like a lush when I refused to give in to his whim. There's no reasoning with a tiny person at that point. Just sip sips when he looks the other way.

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My brother is here this week. We have a good relationship now, but it wasn't always so. I was horrible to him. In fact, I'd say I am just NOW getting to know and understand my brother. He's accomplished a lot these past years, things to be very proud of like getting his GED, getting a job, working at/with a traveling carnival. He's funny, he's smart, and Henry just loves him. So I am lucky to have this opportunity to get to know my brother more and for Henry to know him from the very beginning.

Cadillac Wack

I am turning off the TV more and listening to music more and more these days. Good behaviour. I realized I had a problem when I'd seen every Wife Swap show on WE. Wow, did I really just type that? My lameness meter went way, way, down low.

So in turning off the TV I'm doing more fun things, things I enjoy. I'm getting ready to make Henry's baby album and then move on to full on scrapbooking. Never scrap booked before but it seems like fun. With all the money I made scrap booking I plan on buying a sewing machine table. Wait, what? You don't make money scrapbooking? WTH. Oh well, I'll come up with a plan B.

Fellow music lovers please comment some of your new favorite bands. I'm into RAP/Hip Hop, pop, college music, some techno, rock, alta-rock, etc.

Are you laughing about the Rap/Hip Hop thing? Why? Cause I'm a SAHM who listens to TI while riding around home, what? That's what I thought. :)

Henry Eating - Me laughing (direct to youtube a kind of boring video, but I love it)