Wednesday, March 10, 2010
It's incredibly humbling that I'm getting to spend time with my brother, basically, getting to know him. That's right. I'm 28, he's 24 and we are just now getting acquainted. You see, we had issues while we were growing up and we did not like each other at all. I remember telling him several times that I wish I were an only child, that I hated him, why couldn't he just be "good" like me, or at least put on a good show. I have very few memories of Kyle growing up that were good. I was a monster, a monster child.
*please note, there is lots, lots more to the above paragraph but it's personal family stuff - unbloggable. *
But now I have this chance to see and enjoy this beautiful person he is. Like someone switched a light on in my head and it's enlightening. The fact that he even wants to talk to me is amazing to me after all the things and hurtful words I berated him with.
We share a lot of the same traits, we both have funny quirks and an off-beat sense of humor.
I'm so proud of him, to call him my brother. MY BROTHER. My brother who dropped out of High School, couch hopped for years, been homeless, lived at the 'Y' worked on a carnival traveling all over the place who just completed Job Corps and earned his GED and a trade in Electrical. He's an inspiration.
I've gotten my chance to make amends and apologize. He forgives me, said he was never carrying any of it around and it was just the way it was. I am so fortunate. I was carrying around that heavy guilt....but you know what? We are both different people now. We're no longer children. We can talk. We know how things were, we'll always share our childhood.
So here's to family, which I never really gave much thought to until I had my baby. How important the relationships are that we build when we are young. How important it is to hold on to the past - the good parts of the past.
I love you, Bub.
Posted by Andrea at 1:16 AM