Thursday, November 19, 2009


I'm in Tulsa!

I didn't make a big deal out of it or even tell a lot of people for a couple of reasons: 1.) Per the pediatrician, the less people I expose Hank to the less chance he has of getting a flu so he suggested limiting the amount of visits to family. Common advice that makes sense to me, so that's what we're doing. And I hate that I'm disapointing some people but I know it'll be okay and they'll just have to understand. Not that anyone has given me a hard time at all, everyone is supportive. 2.) I really wanted to just be around the house and decompress. I'm really struggling with anxiety and depression right now and want to take advantage to being in an environment where I can relax and not worry about the dishes, the laundry, the 8 tons of leaves in the front yard, etc. So - I am.

Part of the reason I came here was that Alan was (and is) gone to Germany for a week. At first I thought I could handle being alone for a week with Sir Henry but as the weeks went by and he was working later and later I felt less capable and began to feel very overwhelmed taking care of an infant 24/7 with no company. It's very lonely and anyone knows that it's HARD.

So, I'm very lucky that I had the chance to come out here. A lot of parents don't get the help they need and ohhh lord did I need some help. For the first time in my life I'm not afraid to ask for it, either. You know why? Because it's not all about me anymore. I have another human being depending on me and I love and care for him more than anything else in this world and I need to be there for him.

Sir Henry was an expert traveler! He did wonderful. We had to fly from Raleigh to Denver and I was sweatin' because that's a four hour flight. He only fussed a couple of times and was easily pacified by his pacifier or a feeding. We also had a 3 hour layover in Denver and we did fine. I walked miles around the airport keeping him entertained and happy. People were so nice and helpful and Kat was right. Getting through security was the hardest part and even that was not so bad. We're coming back for Christmas so this was a good practice run.

Let me tell you - Denver's airport SUCKS. I am a Die.t Co.Ke fiend right now and they only carry Pepsi products. I was jonesing for a Die.t Co.Ke in the worst way...and had to settle for a Diet Pe.psi. Not the same. At all. Boo-hoo

Sir Henry and I are enjoying being spoiled. When his Nana (grandma) gets home from work she likes to take over and I totally let her. I'm really easy going with him. You want to hold/feed/bath/cuddle him, go right ahead! Spread the love.


Anwesha said...

am glad mother and son are being spoiled silly in grandma's home :) I love reading your descriptions, so interesting to me.Every single detail.
I hope you have a great time and we shall soon be asking for pictures btw :P

Jax said...

for some reason, blogger isnt letting me read this at's all blank adn stuff. NOOOOO! Ugh. But know I am here.. attempting to read. I will read when I get home. XOXO! Glad Henry had a great trip to Tulsa.. which I didn' read here, but saw on fbook through some ADORABLESAUCE photos!

joyfully gray said...

good for you and letting mama help! relax a bit. put your feet up - you deserve it. the weeks that you are swimming through, though so precious, were so hard for me! you seem to be doing well though.

good idea on exposing the babe to few people. better safe than sorry. a sick baby is NO FUN.

joyfully gray said...

I'm proud of you for asking for some help ... by the way. I did not want you to think I was down-playing your post by talking about myself and how difficult the early weeks were for me. I just want you to know that I understand. I had some serious depression and anxiety issues that I did not talk about much on my blog because I did not want some to read or know about it. I feel like some moms are VERY JUDGMENTAL and not at all understanding when it came to emotional issues, birth issues, all of it. anyway that too is besides the point. take care of yourself!

joyfully gray said...

And it is SO not about US anymore! Is it? Everything I do involves my little Lucia-belle and for you... your Sir Henry.

Okay. Rapid comment fire end.