So many things to share that just shouldn't be shared. So many mean things I'd like to say in the spirit of being mean. I'm really not a horrible person, I just go through violent bursts of negative energy then dive in deep to see why I really felt that way and often by that time I'm ready to write about it.
One thing my mother told me about writing is "Be prepared to piss people off. And that's okay. You just may want to give them fair warning or such.
But I'm like chasing this pipe dream of writing a book to get rich. That's right, I don't want to make a difference in the word by this work, I just want money. I feel a calling. Not like a Jesus or God calling..but a calling none the less.
This week I'm having one of those days where everyday I am a day ahead. Example: Today is Thursday. I think it's Friday. It's a sign of slowly going insane....days are long, idle hands, scary things.
I'm wearing my lingerie around the house (after Henry went to bed) because my husband isn't ever home and I want to wear it so g-damn it I will. What a waste...to have a beautiful wife at home dressed all pretty and ain't nothing to do about it. But I do feel pretty, so I guess it's something. I hope that wasn't TMI.
Just feel kind of sad, and torn. Success is a wonderful thing but at what price? Is it worth the price of not seeing your infant son go to bed every night? Apparently so in this family.
I will adapt.
What do YOU think?